It might come as a surprise that having to deal with porn in your relationship is a common challenge nowadays but rest assured, there’s no need to worry.

So you’re worried that your partner is getting a little too absorbed with watching adult movies? You’re wondering how to approach this without coming off as being insecure or controlling? Here are a few tips on how you might manage to have to deal with porn in your relationship.




porn in your relationship

1) Don’t feel bad that you’re concerned

While there s nothing inherently bad about porn, we have been conditioned through culture, education, religion, etc to see anything related to sex as a taboo topic but just like with anything else in the world, there are good and bad sides to porn. It can be really for a healthy for a relationship to include porn but it can also be demeaning to women, can instil unrealistic expectations about sex, and can be highly addictive and damaging, o having concerns in this situation is completely valid.

2) Be honest with yourself

You may be able to put on a poker face for others but it makes no sense to lie to yourself. How do you really feel about porn? Are you able truly able to see yourself as someone that has porn in your relationship? Or is it definitely a deal breaker?

Once you can establish if you’re willing to try to include it, then you can begin to see what role you would like it to play. You might want to discuss boundaries on the type of porn for example. Nothing degrading or violent. You might be happy to have your partner include porn in your relationship as long they don’t spend any money on it.

3. Have a conversation

This really should be the first thing to consider. It’s strange how so many people take communicating for granted in a relationship but it’s one of the most important elements in maintaining a happy, healthy relationship.

Be honest about how you feel about porn in your relationship. If you don’t like it, say so. If it makes you insecure, say so. It makes absolutely no sense to hide your feelings from your partner and then expect them to somehow predict how you might be feeling.

The more you talk about things, the less of an issue they will be. Try and find out why your partner is interested in porn. Be compassionate to their point of view and then you can work together to come up with a plan to move forward.

4. Don’t Be afraid to admit there’s a problem

Like we stated earlier, porn can be highly addictive and you just might discover, after talking with your partner, that they might actually have a problem. It can be difficult to state whether there is an addiction as there is no accepted diagnostic procedure but there are certain signs to look out for. In any case, if you know your partner, which you should do if you’re in a relationship, then you will know if porn is affecting them in a negative way.

You can get some great ideas on how to approach and deal with the problem of porn addiction in this great book The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography by Wendy Maltz

 5. Be prepared to abandon ship

It might sound harsh, but you cannot let the fear of losing your relationship stop you from admitting that there’s a problem or even having a discussion about it. Depending on the nature of your relationship, it might be an uncomfortable subject to approach but for the sake of both of you, you must find the courage to do so. You need to really agree with whether you can have porn in your relationship or not. Pretending for the sake of your partner is not healthy and will plant a seed of destruction in your relationship.

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