Having less sex does not mean that a relationship is coming to an end. In fact it could signal the beginning of something even more amazing.

having-less-sexIt is perfectly natural that there will be a decline in sexual activity in a relationship over time. One of the first conclusions that people turn to is that their partner is no longer attracted to them. While this may be true, it is often not the case. There are many factors that can play into this;

Feeling More Stressed

As we get older and life starts to take over, stress becomes more a part of our lives. It is the way our societies are designed. Whether it be from increased pressure at work, more bills than you used to have or health issues you never expected. Stress will come into your life and will have an effect on your sex life if you’re not fully conscious of what is going on.

Those Vows

A lot of couples notice a decline in sexual activity soon after marriage and this can be based on the perception of the commitment. Some people do see it as a contract for life and as such, once it’s signed, it triggers something in their mind that a life partner is now secure so they don’t have to try anymore.

Not As Active

Time management is something that many adults don’t pay attention to. What you will find if you’re not mindful, is that you will have less and less time available as life goes on. Especially when children come into the picture. You won’t be playing as much sport as you used to or getting in as many walks/runs. This decline in activity will transfer to your bedroom resulting in you less sexual activity.

Seeds of Romance

As you get closer to and more comfortable with someone, it is very likely that you will start to take them for granted which can lead to having less sex. Not necessarily intentionally, but you will. For sexual desire to be present, a healthy level of flirting will be needed in the relationship. Complimenting your partner and making small romantic gestures are just some of the seeds you can plant to keep their sex drive in top gear.


What to do?

The main thing to keep in mind is that having less sex does not equate to the end of a relationship. It is, however, the Universe/Karma/God telling you that it is time for some meaningful conversation. If the decline is something that you are both happy with then fine. If you find that there is an imbalance in sex drive, talking will help you to understand why.

Through conversation, you should be able to understand what sex means to your partner and how important, or not it is for them. Assuming that your relationship is built on love, you should be able to come to the mutually beneficial understanding that may involve some sacrifice from you both. When you’re in love though, sacrifice is not a burden but a privilege that you should be happy to bear.

If however after communication about how having less sex is affecting you and the relationship and there is no effort from your partner to change or address the issue, then you may have to think about moving on.


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