How do know if the Ex is still a factor

Something in your gut is telling you that there might be something going on but then again you consider the fact that maybe you’re just paranoid. You start wondering if your thoughts are based on reality or if it’s all in your head? Does she get a little touchy every time you bring up the subject? Well, she might still be hung up on her ex. What to do about it is of course up to you, but don’t do anything about it unless you know for sure. Here are a few signs to help you know either way




They are still friends on Facebook or other social media sites.

Ok, so there’s a possibility that she has genuinely forgotten to delete him from her profiles but then again. Still, if this is the only sign that she might not be over her ex, you may not want to push the issue. On the other hand, though, people only maintain connections with people they want to maintain connections with. If it was really over, it would occur to her to drop him.

She’s overly defensive about it.

When you happen to ask if she still has feelings for him, she flies into a rage and tries to attack you for being controlling and not allowing to be friends with whomever she wants. The level of her reaction to this line of enquiry can be a sure sign that the ex is still a factor.

She still talks about him a lot.

This is often the most obvious sign that she might not be over him. People, in general, have a tendency to interject the names of people they care about into everyday conversation. For the most part, they do this subconsciously and sometimes may not even realise it. While it is normal to compare relationships with your past, doing so frequently, and with your current partner isn’t and shouldn’t really be seen as normal unless there are still some feelings there. This is especially true if you are hearing details, like the time he dropped off flowers in the morning on his way to work or when he brought medicine for her in the middle of the night when she told him she was sick. What she is saying here when being so specific about details is, “Why don’t you do that? I like him better.”

She never mentions him.

I know, I know, feels like you can’t win here right but be assured, the opposite is true as well. If she gets very closed off at the mere mention of his name, there might be a problem. You may be dealing with an overwhelming amount of guilty feelings here to a lack of closure. She could be clamming up because she doesn’t want you to notice or figure her out, or she could be hiding something like the real reason they broke up, which was her.

She checks up on him online

Right, so she may not be friends with him on Facebook anymore, but she knows how to access his profile even without that connection. Relationship expert and author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, John Gray says that Googling him is just as bad. When you are spending that much time focussing on a former partner, you are probably neglecting your current relationship. She may think it’s innocent to just “see what he’s up to,” but if it makes you feel poorly, you are entitled to say something about it.

And then there was contact

Although this may seem like the most obvious sign, there are ways that women make this sign seem innocent. They may have forgotten something at his house that is super important, or they still have a phone bill they manage together or something that requires them to stay in contact in some way shape or form. This is a sign she is not over him. The odd point of contact for legal or official matters is standard, but if she is always reaching out and finding reasons to justify it, she might not be over him.




When you are trying to figure out if the ex is still a factor, you have to use your best judgment and common sense. A loving relationship will not exist without love, and trust plays a vital part in establishing that. If you don’t trust what she is doing, then it may be time to re-examine the relationship.

If her signs and signals really do turn out to be innocuous though, it may be time to re-examine your level of security with love. Being confident in your trust and love is the best way to make your relationship succeed. When you can become confident in those aspects together, then your relationship will definitely stand a chance. Put those nagging suspicions the ex is still a factor to bed by ruling out these six simple signs.